Kung dili kaya, ajaw himua
Kung di sigurado, ajaw paluma-luma
Better safe than sorry kumbaga

Ajaw pud ug pag inarte
Para sa uban dili ni okey
Matawag unja ka nga OA

Para sure ka, huna-hunaa sa
Kung pagabuhaton tarung ba
Sa uban makapalipay kaha ka?

Tingali pud ikaw ray malipay
Imong buhat, ang uban wa kaangay
Gudlak na lang sa ilang biay-biay

Ibrahim Qatar

Place: My Office
Time: Morning

Telephone ringing. I pick up.
Other Line: Hello. Good morning.
Me: Good morning, Sir. How may I help you?
Other Line: Do you have Ibrahim Qatar?
Me: I'm sorry but nobody with that name is working here.
Other Line: No, do you have A BRANCH IN QATAR?
Me: Butangi!!!!

Gaydar Workin'

He is definitely gay I say
Just look at him walk and sway
Then observe him deep at play
And you will nod and say yea

This is a very weird situation
The man that I had such an obsession
Has gay chromosome in his possession
Now I'll just wallow in depression

HYPNOS

I was having trouble sleeping on time lately. I just don't understand it. After a hard day's work at the office, I still feel wide awake even in the early hours of the morning. Wide awake but too tired to do anything else but just lie on my bed staring at the ceiling. Waiting for good old Hypnos to come and lull me to sleep is a bore.

Hypnos is being a freakin' a** these past few nights and refuses to come even near me. Sigh Sigh Sigh....I hope he comes to me and makes his presence soon.

Office Blooper

Caller: Hi. I would like to speak with Diana please.
Me: I'm sorry but Diana is on maternal leave.
Caller: Butangi!!!

To My Grandma Eneiga

God has called you back into His home
While you were asleep at the break of dawn
How it breaks my heart to let you go
But release you with open heart I must do

Though I know you will be quite fine
Your heavenly home must be sublime
Still my distraught heart is strongly bleeding
To see your face one more time I am pleading

With deepest regrets now I thought
How saying I love you I did naught
Now declaring my love for you is too late
And my heart is heavy with too much weight

If nothing else, I want you to know this
Loving you deeply was a real bliss
Now that you’re gone I am feeling blue
Grandma with love and sorrow I bid you adieu

Just Another Typical Day In The Office

Client: Hi. Can you please email me the latest statement of accounts?
Me: Okay. Can I have your email address?
Client: Sure. It’s moiza@companyname.com
Me: I’m sorry. Can you spell it for me?
Client: Okay. It’s M for mother, O for ..…umm … Onest
Me: Waaaahhhhhh.

Valentines Day

Delicate heart
Warmly beating
On a palm

Fingers closing
Heart grasping
To breathe

Nails digging
Blood seeping
Flowing slowly

Rage mounting
Hate swelling
Love’s gone

Thorns growing
Blindly stabbing
Dying....dead

Mr. Martial Arts

I heard this funny exchange from a couple of kids playing near our front yard. This happened a long time ago

Kid 1: Where did you get that VHS?
Kid 2: I rented this from that new video rental store at the corner.
Kid 1: What's it about?
Kid 2: It's a karate movie.
Kid 1: Wow! Who starred in it? Is it Jacky Chan or Jet Li?
Kid 2: No. It's Martial Arts. I hope he's good.

Hehehe I almost fell off my chair laughing.

"I'm Psychology" Part 2

I heard from the lift:

Kabayan: Grabe na talaga ang panahon ngayon. Lalong bumababa ang economic.

Father's Day

frankly speaking i dread father's day and mother's day.
it is really too hard for me to say thank you and i love you to my parents.
i dont understand why when it is easy (well relatively easy that is)for me to say thanks and i love you to my few ( and i mean very few) choosen friends.

but not saying thanks and i love you to them does not mean that i dont feel these things. so, since i cant verbally say them (ataka pero manglimbawot jud akong balhibo ani) i'll just say them thru text (daghang salamat sa nag imbento sa cellular phones).

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TATAY. stay strict as you are. i dont care i still love you...

what now?

enjoying my chance to be unproductive these past few days.
i can't wait for september to come and start a new chapter of my life....

A Sunny Smile Under a Cloudy Sky

At the rate of what I'm feeling these days, it could rain nonstop without putting a damper on my sunny mood.

For months I have been moping around thinking of ways to get out of the rut that I was in. My days were spent in a boring routine with unexpected burst of violent feelings to do physical harm to anybody who catches my attention just for the hell of it.

But all these pesky feelings melted away like the proverbial ice cream under the sun. I have decided to leave my job and start a new adventure along with two of my friends who were also looking for that golden pot (and I don't mean weed my friends) at the end of the f&*$#ng rainbow.

Now, I'm so looking forward to the reactions of my bosses when I hand them my resignation. Hah! If they won't accept it then I'm ready to shove my resignation letter to that part of their anatomy where the sun don't shine!

And now I'll start counting the days until the time when i can tell them : So long suckers!!!!!!

Hands Off! Lips Off!

I’m proud to say that I only have very few friends.
And only 2 of them know me completely inside out.
I consider myself lucky to have them.

They know that I don’t like making beso-beso.
They also know that I don’t like hugging or holding hands.
I guess I'm just not into this kind of thing.

And guess what?
My aversion to PDA between friends is okay with them.
Because they also feel the same way about it….ha ha ha
Birds of the same feathers flock together.

But know this; I would gladly follow them to hell and back.
I'm just glad they have not asked me to do to this yet.
But we're getting ready for a new adventure.

Now Dubai…..next stop singa!!!!

Can’t buy me class

When I was young (not that I’m old now) I always thought that “wealthy people” is synonymous to “classy people”.

I am happy to say that I have met a lot of wealthy people who are very well mannered and who treats everybody equally. I admired one person in particular. His name is Hilario G. Davide Jr.. Yes, he was the 20th Chief Justice of the Philippines and head of the Judicial Branch of government from November 1998 to December 2005. I was invited to an intimate dinner with his family and friends one evening. That was the first and only time that I met him in person. The experience was one of the most surreal moments of my life.

He, his wife and children ( I met his daughter through the foundation where I worked before and which she supported) were very good hosts. I even participated in the dinner conversation. We talked about Dan Brown’s sensational novel The Da Vinci Code. I was absolutely thrilled to participate in a classy (I can’t find any fitting word to describe it) discussion. I will treasure that experience forever.

And then I decided to try my luck in another country (and sadly I am still here now).

I work for a company owned by a very wealthy family. There, I was exposed to the other side of the coin. I can only shake my head in disgust and disbelief. I saw one family member picking up candy on a dirty floor and popped it into her mouth (ugh). One member after using the washroom, picked up a book, lick his fingers and flipped through the pages (double uggh). They gossip about other people less fortunate than them. They talked about their golds and diamonds and how others can’t afford them. They screamed at a person who displeased them. Please remember that all of these people are grown-ups. The list is long but I can’t force myself to write about them all.

Sigh. Now I know that you really cannot buy good breeding…..

The Write Stuff

I began my love affair with words when I was still in grade school. Usually I wrote about short stories and have my father critiqued them. My father was a wide reader so he would know what made a good story. And since he always told me that my stories were good, I gained confidence in my talent over the years. I even dreamed that someday I will find my bestselling novel displayed side by side with the novels of Robert Ludlum and Jack Higgins (they were my father’s favourite authors).


While my cousins were into singing and dancing, I was into writing. In fact I was the only one in my family that showed inclination towards the written words. My cousins were great dancers and singers. They would always participate in school programs showcasing their talents. In one instance a close friend of mine asked me how come I was the only one not up on stage dancing or singing my heart out. I was hurt by her question but what can I do but be honest with her? I told her that I was born tune deaf and thus cannot carry a tune even if my life depended on it. And as luck would have it, I also have two left feet so dancing with me would be dangerous to my dance partner’s toes. Therefore, singing and dancing were out of my repertoire though not for lack of trying. But please there was no need for everyone to pity me. I was not comfortable being the centre of attention anyway.


Looking back during those times, I sent a silent prayer of thanksgiving to God. Being a writer helped me express myself. I also made my hobby as a secondary source of income sometimes (a pittance actually but it gave me satisfaction to earn a little something from it). So what more can I asked for?

Well, maybe a Nobel Prize for Literature would be nice. But then again who am I kidding?

this just in!

so there i was writing a comment on ImWriteAboutThis' blog post. Plok! I pressed the submit button. then appeared box and a word that i have to enter into the box to confirm that, yes i really wanted my comment to be posted.

the word to be entered? SLATTI

now i dont know if the people behind the blog website wanted to be funny, or they knew something about my past life or they had a glimpse of my future but i was caught by surprise....

do they know something about me or were they trying to tell me something?

hmmmmm

mind over bladder

i seriously think that my own personal mantra for, well matters relating to the call of nature (no not that call, stop thinking about that!) which is "Mind Over Bladder" is just as significant as that of its same-sounding counterpart and yeah i agree more famous saying "mind over matter".

okay here is one scenario: you are in the middle of a crowd watching a Kings of Leon concert. The group is a Charmer. you are having the best time of your life. you bob your head while listening to them singing about their Sex being On Fire. suddenly you need to pee pretty badly. the problem is that there is no bathroom near you and the concert's on its climax (hey im not talking about live sex!). and you don't want to leave the concert anyway.

by the time the mighty Kings of Leon sang The Bucket, you wished you had one to pee in. i mean really! if you leave now, you know you will give yourself Four Kicks afterwards or Use Somebody to give them to you. the Revelry's getting hotter and the Fans are screaming. bras and undies are flying towards the stage. you cant concentrate, your bladder is about to burst open. double shit and hot damn!

now repeat after me: mind over bladder, mind over bladder, mind over bladder
believe you me, everything is going to be all right. your need to pee will disappear into nothingness without the use of Holly Roller Novocaine....

try it!

Loonyrain – 0 Co-worker – 1

One day my officemate caught me eating a pack of salted peanuts during work hours.

Officemate: Aha! You’re having an early lunch.
Me: Duh! I’m just eating peanuts.
Officemate: Peanuts? Its midday and you’re eating peanuts?
Me: Hey. Peanuts are food for the brain.
Officemate: So, it can make you smart etc etc?
Me: (proudly and with my chin high up in the air) Yes!
Officemate: Have you been eating peanuts for a long time?
Me: (nodding wisely) Since I was a child.
Officemate: Huh! Then peanuts did not help you much, does it?
Me: I hate you!

And I have just been insulted ladies and gentlemen…
But don’t worry I don’t get hurt, I get even.

ATypical Day At The Office

Customer : (on the phone) Hello? I want to talk to Mr. Jones
Me : I’m sorry, Sir but Mr. Jones is not in the office today.
Customer : Okay want to talk to Mr. Smith.
Me : I’m sorry, Sir but Mr. Smith is also not in the office.
Customer : Boot?
Me : What?
Customer : Boot of them are out of the office?

Bwaha!

*****************************************

Telephone rings.
Me : Hello. How may I help you?
Customer : Jack. (Jack is one of my officemates)
Me : Yeah, what about Jack?
Customer : I want to talk to him what else.
Me : Then you should have told me right away. Don’t expect me to know what you want. I’m not a psychic!
Customer : What?
Me : Never mind!

******************************************

Me : Hello. How may I help you?
Customer : John
Me : So?
Customer : Hah?
Me : What?

*****************************************

Me : Hi. I would like to speak with Mr. Jackson, please.
Operator : I’m sorry, madam but his extension is busy.
Me : You can hold me….I mean please put me on hold
Operation : (stammers) I uh ah umm try to connect you again.